Contentment

As I write this blog, I'm sitting at Starbucks by a window, and a group of women showed up with their strollers and occupied the table just on the other side of this glorious piece of glass that is soundproof. How timely that I would be writing this post right now. God sure does have a sense of humor, and it will definitely fuel this post!!

My pastor has a blog, and one day when I checked my email, I read the first paragraph of this post and was floored. "If you ever realized who God made you to be, you'd want to be you so badly you wouldn't know what to do."  Wow. That's not where my head has been. As I sit here and look at these young moms, no older than me, I'm reminded of the almost 1 month old I should be holding, or the fact that I should be entering the second trimester and announcing my pregnancy to the world. I don't know why God does what He does, and I may never know.

So the fact of the matter is that we DON'T know who God made us to be, so how do we live our lives in full contentment, knowing that we're living out God's will for our lives? I don't know that I will ever know that contentment, unless I'm fully focusing on God. Pastor Mike (the same pastor) did a sermon a long time ago and one of the things he discussed stuck with me. He was talking about people who say "Oh, if I just made an extra $5,000 I'd be content." But when they get that money, they want another $5,000, or even $10,000. 

There is never contentment in the things of this earth. I remember thinking that if I could just find someone to date. Then, if he would just propose and we get married. Then, if we just had our own house. And now, if we just had one child. But is that really going to satisfy me? Is it possible that the reason I don't have children now is because God has some great things in store for His kingdom and it requires me having the freedom of time that I wouldn't have with a child? Ultimately I should stop asking "Why?" because all will be revealed in His time. 

I look back on the home we were so desperate to get, and impatiently waited 3 months (it was a short sale) to see if our offer was approved, and when we turned the house down, frustrated and hurt at why God let us waste so much time, I found our house. A brand new house that wasn't finished 3 months before. I looked back and saw the "Why", and I understand why they say "hindsight is 20/20."

All of this wordiness can be summed up in one sentence: God has a plan for your life, so why pine over the things that life could offer when you KNOW, in the depths of your soul, despite all pain and fear, that He only has the BEST in store for those who love Him??