Back from a 3 week break :)

After taking a break for our vacation, I decided to let it continue until after Memorial Day. We had a great trip to the Smoky Mountains in North Carolina, and I really had time to relax and spend some quality time with my husband. Sure, some of our time was spent watching the Food Network and researching mountain bikes (James) and vintage cameras (me), but it was a great time together!! 

Since returning from our vacation, I've had the opportunity to go to therapy weekly, seeing a woman who shares my faith, as well as my theology. In three weeks of talking, she has told me that i am grieving very normally, which was a huge encouragement. Now, that doesn't mean I don't have other past junk that we feel God wants me to work through, but it does mean that God has given me the opportunity to grieve in a healthy manner.

What does grief look like for you? For me, one large thing I did was to purchase this memorial necklace in honor of Gabriel. (Huge thanks to Nettles Jewelery who toiled to help me search catalogs for the perfect necklace!)

The best part about it? The two hearts are intertwined in a way that if you took away the little heart, the big heart is no longer whole. To me it's a perfect symbol of where I am right now: missing my child who is a part of me, but still having parts of my heart that are whole and ready to be consumed by some rainbow babies. In case I haven't used that term before, a rainbow baby is a take-home miracle baby after a storm (loss, infertility, etc). And a take-home baby is one that makes it successfully through the pregnancy and gets to go home to live with mommy and daddy. We're praying very hard for our rainbow baby, and I'm praying for many others to have theirs as well.

At the risk of sharing too much, I want to add that we women aren't the only ones that have our struggles. Our husbands aren't big emotionless bears. Over memorial day weekend, we spent time with James' work family, and one woman was 7-8 months pregnant, and there were two babies, 13 months and 6 months. To make matters worse, we were the only young couple with no children or children in utero. I'd encourage you ladies to be sensitive to what your husband might be going through. James had a difficult time at the beginning of this weekend (as did I) and he talked to me when he wanted to. Don't force them to talk, because it doesn't always help, and it might cause them frustration if they AREN'T hurting, because they feel like they should be hurting. Just be there for support!!!

I won't be posting as often on my blog right now because I'm busy working through things in my life, as well as searching for a job. I can't say how much it means to me to have readers who care about our story, and I really love hearing YOUR stories! Feel free to email me your story at sarah.myheartsmusings@gmail.com :)