This week I have the pleasure of going on vacation for the first time (at least in my adult life) to the mountains in NC!! We plan on hiking through the Smoky Mountains National Park, visiting the Biltmore Estate, and getting lots of relax time!
We had originally planned this vacation for late April, but a w days after our loss, James came Into e room with the sweetest idea! "Why don't we wait and take our vacation over Mother's day weekend so you don't have to be at church?" Have I mentioned how much I love this man??
5 months into our TTC experience, Mother's Day 2010 held so much hope, with not a tiny fragment of disappointment. It hadn't been that long, and many fertile couples try more than 5 months! A year and 5 months into our TTC experience, Mother's Day 2011 was very difficult. Our church does an evening conference on Sundays through May, called "Marriage in May" and on Mother's Day they gave away gift cards to the mothers with the oldest and youngest children. The youngest was less than a week old, the parents were barely legal (or at least they appeared this way to me; they couldn't have been more than 21), and had gotten pregnant just after they got married. Talk about a knife to the heart. I know they didn't take MY baby, but the knife was more that I didn't, and don't, understand why it's so easy for some people to get pregnant and SO difficult for others.
Mother's Day 2012. We have been TTC for almost 2 and a half years. It will be 2 months after I found out about my exciting pregnancy, and almost a month and a half after I found out about our loss. I believe that I definitely fit into the category of "mother", even though my child isn't in my arms. We will have a small celebration on Sunday, most likely a nice dinner. And most of all, I will rejoice that I was able to share the time I had with my sweet Gabriel, and celebrate that he won't suffer the pain of this life.
I have tomorrow's post set to auto-post, but after that I won't be posting until the next Wednesday. It's time for some R&R with my husband and the father of my child.
That sounds delightful! I wish that I could get away like that as well this weekend. Last year for me was horrible... A co-worker of mine came up to me and literally asked me "Hey! You've been married for a while now... where are your kids! Don't you want them?!" Ugh. That was like a knife to the heart. Of course I want them. Of course we are trying. Not everyone gets pregnant right away you know!
ReplyDeleteSo naturally I'm a little bit apprehensive of a repeat this year... not to mention that this year will bring with it those feelings of sadness for what should have been... Like you I consider myself a mother, I just don't have a LO to hold in my arms or a belly to show for it.
I hope you have a fantastic vacation! Happy Mother's Day to you!
Happy Mother's Day Sarah,i can't wait to hear about your trip,I hope it brought a lot of rest and peace! <3
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