Thursday, April 19, 2012

A place where sorrow and joy commune

Today as I'm sitting back in the waiting room at my doctor's office for my follow-up appointment, I've been thinking back to the past month.

On March 27th I walked in to this office, waiting for the confirmation that I had lost my baby. It was the most stressful & sorrowful experience I thought I'd have. When I left, I had a picture of a gestational sac, my baby, nestled right where it needed to be, and a plan from the doctor to check on the baby every week. I was overjoyed!!!

One week later, I entered this waiting room with the greatest joy and hope since the bleeding was stopping, only to walk out with a broken heart and empty arms.

It boggles my mind that one room can be a place of such great joy and love for one woman, and at the same time for the woman next to her, the worst place in the world. I'm so fortunate to have such an attentive and caring doctor, as well as a fabulous team of nurses, because if I didn't, I don't know how I would have managed through the worst of the physical part.

Now it's time for the emotional and spiritual part. It's quite painful to make such dramatic shifts up and down on the worlds craziest roller coaster, but I have to keep reminding myself that God is here with me, He's never left my side, despite all of the pain I'm enduring. That's my one saving grace.

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