I've already talked about some things that are very difficult for a woman who just lost her child to hear. Today I'm going to mention a few things that mean the world to us!!!
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I polled some women in my support group to ask them what things helped. The most powerful response I received was told to a woman after her loss of identical twins. Her aunt had a stillborn child, as well as the tragic death of her 6 year old son 12 years later. Her aunt said this:
Welcome to the wonderful club of motherhood. Those two precious babies impacted your lives in so many ways. Thank you for sharing them with us. Just remember, they're the only ones who know what your heart sounds like from inside - what a gift! You will never forget and neither will I. Know that I hurt for you and with you. I know this pain and our Lord will deliver you.
Wow. Just, wow. What powerful words!!! Not only is she acknowledging the loss, but she's also clearly stating "You are a mother!" Some women who have losses never think of themselves as mothers, even tough that's what they are. She notes that she will also never forget those babies either. What a gift to have someone who loves our babies too!! She also shares the hurt. Now, for those of you who haven't had a loss, you can still hurt with us. You may never know the pain, but to have another grieving with us makes it that much easier to carry.
Finally, if you haven't had a loss, I want to thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I hope it helps you interact with me, if you're a friend of mine, or if you are a stranger, I hope it helps you live a more sensitive life, being aware that someone sitting next to you might be dealing with the same pain and turmoil that I am. I pray none of you ever have to experience this pain first hand!
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